This will be a rather short post, as I’ve only got a few minutes until I have to get back to work. A small blurb of thoughts, if you will…
I constantly find myself jealous of my peers who can, it seems, so easily approach a possible romantic interest and strike up a conversation with them like it’s nothing. Almost like they can make this instant connection, even if not romantic, but enough to build up to the point where they’re comfortable discussing feelings around each other. I’m single right now, and I’m honestly okay with that. I continually tell myself that it’s important to love yourself before you commit yourself to another person romantically. If you ask a partner to accept you for who you are, then it only makes sense that you accept you for who you are.
So yes, I’m contet with being single, but that still doesn’t stop a pang of lonliness from arising in me when one of my friends gets a new girlfriend or boyfriend, or gets engaged. For someone who struggles with accepting myself on a daily basis, the fact that they have found someone who accepts and connects with them on an emotional level is both beautiful and heartwrenching for me. Truth be told, I’m a bit of a romantic. No getting around that. But that doesn’t include the fact that I’m prone to comparing my ‘worth’ against somebody who, it seems, may have found the love of their life.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not seething in the corner while a friend and his significant other are shamelessly flirting. I’m genuinely happy for people who have that person in their lives. But, truth be told, it hurts sometimes. This feeling isn’t so much something I dwell on, but rather keep coming back to as more friends and co-workers get in relationships/engaged. I can barely tell myself I’m a loving person somedays, why do some people get another person to tell them that as well? Again, I don’t want to sound like I’m bitter. I don’t think I’m bitter. Just melancholy. Reflective, I suppose.
I’ve seen posts on here that state being single is better. I’ve also seen the opposite which states that having romance in your life helps ease the pain of mental illnesses greatly. I dunno which I believe, if either. Obviously there’s no one right answer for everybody, as it is with most things. I don’t know what the right answer is for me, either. That being said, I’m still content with being single. I need to take care of myself and my own life before I bring another person into it. Whether you’re in a relationship or single, remember to take care of yourself. If you can’t show affection for yourself even with your shortcomings and flaws, it’s going to be mighty hard for your partner to. Stay strong, everyone.