Jealousy, Take Two

Oh, goodness, I haven’t written anything here in quite a while.

Since July, to be exact. I could give you the spiel of how I’ve been so terribly busy with work and…well, more work, but that’s probably not of much interest to you. But, for completion’s sake, I will say, I’ve started going into work much earlier than I had been used to, and I get home feeling like a zombie half of the time, so even when I say to myself, “Ooh, I’m gonna get home and write!”, any thought of that tends to exit my mind as soon as I see my beautiful, comfortable, incredibly inviting bed.

However, as I’ve been on this early morning schedule for some time now, my internal clock has (mostly) adjusted, and I hope to get back into the swing of updating this, at the very least, weekly. And so, as I’m here dog-sitting two adorable German Shepherds, I thought there’s no time like the present to get back into the swing of things. And so it is…

So, jealousy. I’ve done an entire post dedicated to this subject in the past, but being that it can be such a prevalent feeling in our lives (it certainly is for me), and given that I’ve felt jealously creeping into my own mind over the past few weeks, I thought it might be an interesting venture to revisit the subject.

Jealousy seems to be such a tragic facet of our first-world culture: They have something, I don’t have that something, I want that something and I’m bitter towards them for having it, bam, jealousy. For me, the feeling of jealously isn’t what’s inherently bad, it’s more so how it leads my mind to come to conclusions. When we’re intent on getting something someone else has, be it a material item or achievement, there’s often a thin line between what many call determination, and jealousy. The jealousy creeps in when we feel resentment towards others for having what we do not.

It seems that human society puts value on a great many things that, in the end, really don’t at all matter. Material possessions, achievements, titles. For some who get jealous over these things, it may be less of an arduous task to step back and say to themselves, “In the grand scheme of things, these possessions don’t matter. But what of things for which “want” could be argued? Marriage, children, a sturdy financial situation…some may argue jealousy is a healthy type of determination for these things, as love and a comfortable living situation are things all should strive for. If feeling jealous towards an individual or family that has these near “essentials” is the kick in the butt needed to get you working towards those things, can’t you argue for that bitterness? Doesn’t it help you more than harm you?

My own intuition says no. When jealousy is used as a motivator, it more often than not turns into a competition with another. I have the “healthiest marriage,” or the “best-behaved and loving children,” or “highest-paying job.” God knows we have an entirely too-competitive society already, so when we start to incorporate that competitiveness into our life goals, it turns our lives into finding contentment by simply being happy, versus finding contentment by trumping others. At the risk of sounding like I’m channeling the Dalai Lama, happiness should come from peace and contentment in ourselves, not from knowing we have the “best” anything of anybody.

Not to mention that if we fail in our jealousy-initiated competition, it only leads to more bitterness towards our “competitor.” “I wasn’t able to beat them out in having [insert possession/relationship/status here], so I’m going to be even more resentful towards them from now on.” I’m sure you’ve never consciously said this to yourselves, even in your mind, but the devil on your shoulder may plant that bug of revenge in your minds. Not that I support revenge in any sense of the word anyway, but this type of, “I-didn’t-get-what-you-have-now-I’m-bitter-and-resentful-towards-you type of revenge isn’t logical. If revenge is supposed to come from a place of somebody else actively working against you, how does revenge against someone who is just going about their life make any sense?

Like most negative emotions, jealousy also has a physical effect on you – racing heart, tensed muscles, even something more active such as staring the potential “competitor” down. Gone too far, a relationship built mostly on jealousy of another can spiral out of control, resorting to spying on them or their communications, or even going through their personal belongings. It goes without saying that these are destructive (and intrusive) habits.

My own jealousy becomes apparent when I notice my abdomen tensing up or my breathing quicken. I subconsciously flex my fingers in and out, not necessarily into fists, but as if all of my negative feelings are trying to escape through my hands. In my interactions with others I become snappy and rude, and when I interact with the one I’m jealous of, my passive-aggressiveness shines like a crude beacon to all.

So, even if jealousy can push us to strive for our goals, the collateral damage of ruined relationships, physical symptoms, and invasion of privacy is by no means worth it. If it gets to the point (which it often does) where others are starting to take notice of your lack of contentment, it’s time to take a step back and deal with the situation from neutral, level-headed ground.

So how do you deal with, or better yet, avoid jealousy altogether? I don’t claim to know what helps everyone, or even most people. I can only give you what helps me, and the most powerful tool in my personal arsenal is mindfulness. I talk up mindfulness like Billy Mays talked up OxiClean, but I do so because it works (the mindfulness, not the OxiClean. I dunno, I’ve never used OxiClean). In a nutshell, mindfulness is looking at situations not from a place of passionate, sometimes corrupting emotion, but instead with a clear head, only going back to revisit the situation in your mind once you’ve been able to interpret it from a level-headed perspective. By doing this, any overwhelming emotions that you felt during the moment in which the situation is happening have had time to die down, and as such, should no longer cloud your judgement or allow you to jump to conclusions based purely on the ferocity of your emotions. Instead of being the jury or executioner, being mindful is being the judge; looking at all sides of the situation and then coming to a conclusion, not the other way around. Keep in mind that being the judge and being judgmental are not the same thing.

It may also help you to avoid jealousy by simply telling yourself, “I’m not them.” Well, duh, you may say, but by admitting to yourself that different things happen to different people at different times at different points in their life, it’s easier to accept that not everything they have is something you should have, and vice versa. You’re different from them, and they you, and that’s how it should be.

As I stated earlier, I’ve been trying (and sometimes failing) to fend off jealousy myself for the past few weeks. For most, it isn’t easy, and even after writing this, I’m still probably going to go to work next week and feel, at the very least, a twang of jealousy. But, like a firefighter goes into a blaze with the correct tools to survive it, I feel that with the correct mental and emotional outlook, jealousy, like fire, can be overcome.

Stay strong.

–  Ryan

Gossip: the poison words

When’s the last time you talked about somebody behind their back? The last time you made comments, however small, about something someone else said or did? Based off of my own personal experience, it was probably fairly recently, maybe as recently in the last week or so.

Looking at the last time you gossiped, why did you do it? You had something to say about this person, and for whatever reason, you decided that it was easier to go behind their back and say whatever it was to somebody else, or maybe even multiple people. Maybe you were in a group of gossiping people and in order to join in, you brought up something juicy to add to the conversation. “Did you hear what he said,” or maybe, “I can’t believe she did _____!”

Before I continue, I should point out that I don’t mean to point the finger at you and scream “shame;” I’ve done my own fair share of gossiping in the past, as has nearly everyone. Whether we feel pressured into it by the conversation, or whether we simply enjoy creating drama in relationships, I’m willing to bet that every person you’ve met in your lifetime has gossiped about someone at least once. But, if I’m trying to get my point across to you, it makes the most sense for me to try and get you to think about your own actions, as opposed to somebody else’s. But I digress…

The word itself, gossip, has an already unsavory stigma attached to it – we associate gossip with the popular kids at school or the celebrity tabloids. Most people I know shake their heads at publications such as The Enquirer, a celebrity tabloid with headlines that are the equivalent of physical, tangible click-bait, but those same people often bring up others in their own lives behind their backs, laughing, scoffing, or even fuming at them.

So…gossip isn’t good. I don’t need to tell you that. Next to nobody will say they “support” gossip if you ask them about it, but nearly everyone still gossips anyway. Gossip is bad, hurtful, and deceitful, as most people will agree. So why the hell do we still do it?

Is it like smoking? Smoking has been clinically proven to be detrimental to your health, but I know dozens of smokers. Certainly they’re aware that it’s bad for them, but they do it because, one way or another, they enjoy it. It relaxes them, they like the smell/taste, etc. So is that why people still gossip? I don’t believe so, because while I know dozens of smokers, I know hundreds of people, and if each one of them gossips at least a few times, by that logic, they’d have to enjoy something about it. I refuse to believe that humanity is so incredibly demented that nearly all of us get our kicks out of going behind someone’s back. It just doesn’t add up, at least not for me.

I don’t write about this today because I’m being gossiped about, because as far as I know, I haven’t been recently (at least, not that I know of). I bring this up because I have experiences with friends who are being gossiped about, people whom I respect, admire, and care for immensely. The sad part is, the individuals who are doing the gossiping, I also respect, admire, and care for. If these people were fields of flowers, the part of them that gossips about others is scorched earth – burnt, dead foliage in a field of otherwise beautiful nature.

Again, I don’t claim any innocence in this, nor do I believe really any of us can. I don’t enjoy gossiping, but I’ve found myself doing it anyway when the conversation is leading towards it. This is something personal that I want to work on going forward – standing my moral ground with others, even when I feel pressured to conform to how they believe I should feel or act.

And while I’ve seen gossip many times in my life, I’ve also seen those who find out they’re being gossiped about. I’ve seen tears, collapsing against the wall…I’ve even seen holes left by fists of rage, peppered into the drywall. It’s heartbreaking. Whether the response to gossip is sadness, rage, or hatred, it all stems from a feeling of betrayal. Even if what was said about them wasn’t “all that hurtful,” the fact that it had to be brought up behind their back is often the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Absolutely nothing good comes of gossiping. All of us have our reasons we tell ourselves for doing it, but I swear to you that none of those reasons are worth it.

In the past few weeks alone I’ve seen so many people hurt emotionally by what has been said about them rather than to them by others, and I felt I needed to write something about it, partly to get it off my own chest. My mind is spinning and my heart is racing just writing this, because it’s genuinely something I feel incredibly passionate about, even if I’m nowhere near where I want to be in my “stop gossiping” journey myself. But I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try to get there.

Stay strong, and remember others.

– Ryan

Please, don’t take the people in your life for granted

To give you one of the biggest understatements of all time – life isn’t easy. Arguably, it isn’t really meant to be. Oftentimes, the most invaluable learning moments in our lives come from moments of sadness, despair, and failure. But, during those moments of sadness, despair, and failure, this is little consolation. When we’re depressed, angry, guilt-ridden, or any other one of those overpowering negative emotions life seems to enjoy throwing at us, rarely do we ask ourselves, “what can I learn from this,” or, “how can I apply this to my experiences in the future?” We just want those “valuable” experiences to be over and done with. Perhaps afterwards, when our emotions have come back into balance, we can look at those moments with a more level head and deem what we got out of those experiences, but in the moment, generally, our only thoughts are for it to be over and done with as soon as possible.

As such, during these times of duress, we try to find our comfort in certain things. Obviously, what these “things” are vary from person to person; God, friends, family, getting active, spending time with our pets, reading…the list is endless. Between individuals, however, there are generally a few constants when it comes to sources of comfort. One of these is people, whether it be family, friends, significant others, or co-workers. We may turn to others in hopes we can find some common ground in our suffering. We may hope that they can relate to our experiences and give us the keys to the kingdom: how to feel better. We may like the reassurance that we are indeed not alone in our duress, despite how often our brain can tell us that we are.

Regardless of our reasoning for turning to others, the fact remains that we do so because it oftentimes helps us get through those hard times, however it may do so. In times of emotional strain, our companions can be life-savers, telling us exactly what we need to hear exactly when we need to hear it. Even if they can’t, simply sitting there with us, simply being there for us, can do wonders for the emotional mind. Human connection is, at the root of its purpose, much of the reason for our lives. There’s a reason that solitary confinement is one of the worst punishments a human being can receive.

So, we turn to others during times of hardship, and they serve as a source of comfort, in whichever way they can, and, like all moments of emotional hardship, it passes. We go back to our lives, our tough moments happily behind us.

But what about the person (or people) who helped get you through those moments?

Do you remain eternally grateful to them, pledging to help get them through any hardships they may endure in the future? Or, as is unfortunately more likely, do they blend into the chorus of your other companions, remaining a source of comfort where you may need it, but otherwise just…there?

This isn’t to say they’re forgotten completely by any means, but all too often those who help us through this life’s hardest moments go underappreciated. Now, I’m not suggesting you shower them with praise every chance you get, lifting them up on your shoulders and parading them around the town, but I guarantee you that showing them what they’ve done for you hasn’t been forgotten will only benefit the relationship you have with them. Even small things, such as letting them know that you’re there for them in their own moments of hardship, can be just the touch of encouragement they need to get them through. Not always, but just the show of willingness to be there for them can do wonders for them emotionally.

Ask anyone born before 1950 and they’ll often tell you the same story – people these days don’t realize how lucky they are to have what they have (“I had to walk 5 miles to school uphill…BOTH WAYS!”). They didn’t have cell phones, or iPads, or Netflix, but we do, so be appreciative of it. I agree wholeheartedly, but there IS one thing they had that we do as well – relationships. Yes, we should be grateful for our cell phones and iPads and Netflix, but the same goes for the meaningful relationships we have with those in our lives. Lord knows you wouldn’t forget how Netflix (and ice cream) got you through that terrible breakup, so why would you forget your friend who convinced you there were other fish in the sea? You wouldn’t forget your phone’s texting capabilities, but who would you have to text if you didn’t have those friends who are so dear to you?

So, I write this conclusion not as a traditional one, but rather a “getting on my knees and begging you” one. Please, please, please don’t take the ones in your life that you care about for granted. Don’t let them go unnoticed. Don’t allow them to fade into the background even once your troubles have passed. Let them know you care for and appreciate them. If we can’t do a simple task such as tell the ones close to us how much they mean to us, how are we supposed to do so on a larger scale? Human beings were made to be creatures of compassion – so be compassionate.

Stay strong.

– Ryan

 

Romantic relationships and Depression

It’s no secret that depression can negatively impact a great many relationships, and in my experience, romantic relationships can take a large brunt of the heat. Romantic relationships are built on mutual affection – “if you love and accept me for who I am, then I’ll do the same for you.” But what happens if, instead of not being able to accept your partner, you can’t accept yourself?

This goes without saying, but one of the biggest impacts that depression has on us psychologically is an overarching feeling of self-doubt. It makes us question whether or not we’re smart enough, or generous enough, or, quite simply good enough. As such, it only makes sense that these feelings find a way to interfere in relationships. Those suffering from depression tell themselves: “If I’m not [insert positive adjective here] enough, why should my partner spend any time with me?” Depression makes us question whether or not we’re actually deserving of a romantic relationship. If we can’t love and accept ourselves, how can we ask somebody else to love and accept us?

Then there’s the blow to communication. Ask any couples counselor and they’ll tell you that communication is one of the most important aspects in any relationship. However, communicate is one of the many things people with depression are least inclined to do. Generally, when people are in the depths of depression, the last thing they want to do is talk about it. Psychologically, there’s a plethora of reasons for this, but one of the main reasons is because they’re convinced nobody else will know how they feel. Despite the facts showing that more than 350 million people worldwide suffer from the illness, depression has the uncanny ability to make people believe that their problems and way of looking at things are theirs along to deal with.

As a result, depressive thoughts and emotions are a subject not often brought up, even between partners. This often causes the one in the relationship not suffering from depression to interpret this as keeping secrets, or feeling like they aren’t trusted. Obviously, trust is a major component in any relationship, so for one person to feel like they don’t have it can damage that relationship immensely.

Building off of that, this lack of communication can lead to unneeded drama. If one person in a relationship is not communicating with the other due to depression, the other may decide to take matters in to their own hands. Quite frankly, it’s hard to stay mature and level-headed when it seems your partner has no desire to communicate to you what they’re feeling.

If you’re dating or married to someone with depression, please don’t take any of these actions (or inactions) to heart. Understand that any lack of communication or presumptions is not out of spite for you, but instead a natural part of the mental illness that is clinical depression.

One of my favorite things to say is “understand that you will never fully understand.” Without trying to sound pompous, if you don’t have depression, you will never understand how someone with depression feels. Those who have depression know that fact, and only want for you to acknowledge it too. Even if they don’t show it, people are incredibly appreciative when you make an effort to try and “work with them,” even when you don’t completely understand the way their mind works.

Depression is hard enough on its own – adding another person to the mix can make it even trickier. But this isn’t a reason to avoid relationships. Having another support figure in life who not only loves you, but accepts you and makes an active effort to be compassionate and stick with you to the bitter end can do wonders for a mind suffering from depression. It isn’t easy, I know. But few things in life worth doing ever are.

Stay strong.

– Ryan

A quick thought…

Violence for its own sake is bad. Generally, leaders, be they of countries, federations, armies, etc., take steps to avoid violence against their own.

At what point in history did human society decide that the best way to counter violence is with violence? Fire with fire? If I punch you, your initial reaction may be to punch me back. Which in response causes me to hit you again, and the cycle repeats until there’s an all-out fistfight. If history and human nature has taught us anything, it’s that a violent act will often lead to a retaliation of violence.

Human society has been around for thousands of years. We’ve evolved, gotten smarter and wiser, so why haven’t a vast majority of us realized that violence in response to violence solves nothing? So many leaders are convinced that brute force is the answer to ending what plagues their people, and as such, they become so blinded that they don’t realize the problem lies more so in their own actions than those they are fighting against.

If I punch you, you should put up yours hands to defend yourself, absolutely. But instead of hitting back, figure out why I punched you. What caused it? How can we solve this problem without another punch to the face? With the least amount of collateral damage. Maybe you’re still a little sore (physically and mentally) from my punch, but we’re avoiding a lot of future soreness if we take a less physical approach to things. Right?

I’m not really sure what prompted this thought, honestly. The U.S. is pretty divided right now, between what approach we take to solve our problems. I hope we see that force isn’t always the answer.

  • Ryan

Compassion, not just kindness

“Compassion is the keen awareness of the interdependence of all things.”

Far too often, true compassion is overlooked as just being simple kindness. There’s nothing wrong with being kind, of course. All acts of compassion are kind, however, not all acts of kindness are compassionate. It’s the societal norm to be kind to others. If you walk into a grocery store and be a jerk to the person in front of you in line, people are going to give you dirty looks. Being rude or ignorant is, in most cases, considered socially unacceptable. Nearly everyone is considered to have a certain amount of decency towards others, even if it means going through the motions. This often means empty gestures. Yes, that person won’t get angry with the grocery store patron in front of them that’s taking forever to pay, but mostly because society would look at that with a figurative scowl.

I don’t want to imply that all acts of kindness come from social necessity, that certainly isn’t the case. There are absolutely people who are kind in public not because of any norm forced upon them, but because they genuinely want to be kind. They realize that patience will get them farther than initiating conflict ever will. But I’d be lying if I said that I believe that’s most people.

If there’s any one thing that my experiences with depression have shown me in force, it’s that people often see what I consider to be my “realist” attitude as pessimistic. I’ve said many times before that I believe in the inherent good in all people. I do. But inherent is the key word for me. While everybody has the potential for infinite caring, it seems that so few people, well, act on that. So, if people have the potential for unconditional love, why is it so uncommon? There’s probably a long list of reasons why: for fear of it being seen as weak and vulnerable, because the feeling may not be reciprocated… but my guess is that the most common reason why is because it’s simply easier to be indifferent to it all.
We can still perform these empty acts of kindness without much sacrifice on our part, but true compassion requires looking outside of our own self more often than not. Why sacrifice our own time, putting our emotions aside for the sake to help others with theirs? It seems like such a predatory mindset – kill or be killed. Look after yourself and your own emotions, or supposedly risk your mental well-being to help someone else maybe feel a bit better. From that viewpoint, the answer as to which seems better is obvious. How, then, is compassion worth it?

To understand that, it’s important that we understand what compassion actually is. To have compassion for something, be it a person, group, or cause, is to care about it on a deeper level. It’s easy to be kind to people we see in passing. To have compassion for them is a different thing entirely. While kindness is just that, kindness, compassion is fostering understanding for one’s situation, considering everything affecting it. Compassion is attempting to understand where one is coming from, be it good, bad, or somewhere in between, and caring for them anyway. Compassion is understanding that you will never be able to fully understand anyone else, nor they you, but loving and accepting them for who they are and what they have to offer anyway. Compassion and acceptance go hand-in-hand – if you cannot accept someone, then it’s impossible to understand and sympathize with them.

The word ‘compassion’ has its roots in Latin. The root of the word, compati, literally means to “suffer with.” While I don’t believe that having compassion for something means you must suffer with it, it shows that true compassion is opening yourself up to the plight of others, whether you have a stake in the situation or not. Human society, and even more than that, human understanding, is built on the foundation of togetherness. This means different things to different people, but I believe cooperation and understanding for others is key. Humans can’t live alone. You can stick a person in the middle of nowhere for years and years, alone, and they may find a way to survive. But emotionally, they will be broken. Cut someone off from any possible chance of compassion, and everything they have dealt with and everything they will deal with is theirs and theirs alone. Compassion allows them to share the burden with others, strengthening relationships and fostering understanding. How many fewer wars would be fought it compassion was shown to enemies instead of no mercy? Instead of the “kill or be killed” mindset?

This may seem like an incredibly naïve mindset. I’m not advocating for pacifism, but I do believe that rudeness, mocking, hatred, and violence should never be the first go-to for a lack of understanding. If we put compassion ahead of everything else, how many fewer people would feel the need to end their own life? To turn to drugs or alcohol? To violence?

Letting ourselves be open to others doesn’t mean rejecting ourselves, though. By seeing what others go through, we can become better equipped to deal with our own ups and downs. To reiterate what I said before: “Compassion is the keen awareness of the interdependence of all things.” Humans can survive alone. But to truly live, emotionally, mentally, spiritually…we need someone who has compassion for us. But how can we morally ask for compassion if we aren’t willing to give it ourselves?

So many problems in the world, past and present, are attributed to a lack of understanding. Compassion surpasses understanding – it allows for unconditional caring even when we don’t understand everything. But, understanding or no, it promotes cooperation. Again, I’m not saying we should all be pacifists. As morbid as it may sound, as long as humanity exists, violence will accompany us. But it certainly doesn’t have to be something we so readily turn to when understanding evades us. On a larger scale, like when it comes to entire nations, it’s obviously much, much tougher. But it’s possible. It has to be, if we start individually and build it up. For it to affect things larger than us, it first has to affect us. It needs to become a way of life, living compassionately. It would take years, I know. Years and years. But so do most things worth fighting for.

Understanding surpasses ignorance. Compassion surpasses simple kindness. And all of those things surpass violence due to lack of understanding. Compassion first. Everything else afterwards.

Stay strong.

  • Ryan

Understanding people with depression and/or anxiety

Interacting with a person with depression and/or anxiety can be a large beast to tackle. A lack of understanding for what some people go through is common in our society. Hopefully this post can help a bit.

For people who have no history or experiences with mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety, understanding how to approach individuals with these ways of thinking can be difficult. For some who grew up in a family where depression and anxiety have been passed down for a few generations, it can be easier. Having people around you, whether they be family or friends, who know and can relate to how your mind works can be a great support. However, not everyone has this luxury.

What about people who have no idea how depression affects the mind? People who don’t understand why people suffering from anxiety worry about seemingly the most miniscule things? Although it may not seem like a big deal, interacting with sufferers of these mental illnesses in a way that doesn’t escalate their feelings of depression or anxiety can make the receiver’s life a whole lot easier.

So how can those of us who have mental health issues help those who don’t? The logical first step would be to simply say that our minds don’t work the same way yours do on a daily basis. With no desire on our part, our minds can turn the tiniest molehill into a mountain, without any “logical” explanation. Whether that be beating ourselves up mentally for something that happened three years ago or worrying about something that, frankly, probably doesn’t need to really be worried about, our minds will make it so we do. I cannot stress enough that this is from no choice of our own. 9/10ths of it is simply brain chemistry. If you’re interested, it’s incredibly easy to find articles and pictures online of the differences between a “normal” brain and a brain with mental illnesses affecting it. So, from the science-y side of things, the chemicals in our brains are all out of whack. Whoops.

On a more personal level, we know we’re this way. We know we shouldn’t worry about Thing A. or beat ourselves up for Thing B. But we do it anyway. I’m certain I speak for nearly all of us suffering from these mental illnesses when I say: if we could snap our fingers and make this affliction evaporate into thin air, we’d do it. But alas, is life ever that simple? (Spoiler alert: no). We’re aware that all logic tells us not to dwell on these inane things, but we do anyway.

I could give you a list of advice for dealing with sufferers of these illnesses, but I won’t do that. There are some fantastic bloggers on here that have created comprehensive, thought-out lists on that subject, and I’ve no wish to usurp them. I’d just like to add my two cents to the conversation.

The best, and I mean best thing anyone can do for someone like me is make an effort to understand where they’re coming from. I know you aren’t going to get all of the anatomy and psyiology behind it – nobody should expect you to. Just remember that sometimes, even when it’s the most inconvienient time, our minds will take everything out of proportion. Whether it’s worrying, panicking, crying, reclusiveness…it’s all fair game.

If you take one thing away from this post, let it be this: understand that you’ll never be able to fully understand us. Hell, sometimes we don’t fully understand us. But we begin to recover when we understand that not everything can be whittled down to logic and brain chemistry, and we only ask that you do the same. If we somehow get on your last nerve with our actions or words, I apologize for all of us. Trying to attribute everything a depression/anxiety-riddled mind does to logic is a lost cause. We’re imperfect, we know that. But so is everyone. Accept us for our odd tendencies, and we’ll accept you for yours.

– Ryan