To give you one of the biggest understatements of all time – life isn’t easy. Arguably, it isn’t really meant to be. Oftentimes, the most invaluable learning moments in our lives come from moments of sadness, despair, and failure. But, during those moments of sadness, despair, and failure, this is little consolation. When we’re depressed, angry, guilt-ridden, or any other one of those overpowering negative emotions life seems to enjoy throwing at us, rarely do we ask ourselves, “what can I learn from this,” or, “how can I apply this to my experiences in the future?” We just want those “valuable” experiences to be over and done with. Perhaps afterwards, when our emotions have come back into balance, we can look at those moments with a more level head and deem what we got out of those experiences, but in the moment, generally, our only thoughts are for it to be over and done with as soon as possible.
As such, during these times of duress, we try to find our comfort in certain things. Obviously, what these “things” are vary from person to person; God, friends, family, getting active, spending time with our pets, reading…the list is endless. Between individuals, however, there are generally a few constants when it comes to sources of comfort. One of these is people, whether it be family, friends, significant others, or co-workers. We may turn to others in hopes we can find some common ground in our suffering. We may hope that they can relate to our experiences and give us the keys to the kingdom: how to feel better. We may like the reassurance that we are indeed not alone in our duress, despite how often our brain can tell us that we are.
Regardless of our reasoning for turning to others, the fact remains that we do so because it oftentimes helps us get through those hard times, however it may do so. In times of emotional strain, our companions can be life-savers, telling us exactly what we need to hear exactly when we need to hear it. Even if they can’t, simply sitting there with us, simply being there for us, can do wonders for the emotional mind. Human connection is, at the root of its purpose, much of the reason for our lives. There’s a reason that solitary confinement is one of the worst punishments a human being can receive.
So, we turn to others during times of hardship, and they serve as a source of comfort, in whichever way they can, and, like all moments of emotional hardship, it passes. We go back to our lives, our tough moments happily behind us.
But what about the person (or people) who helped get you through those moments?
Do you remain eternally grateful to them, pledging to help get them through any hardships they may endure in the future? Or, as is unfortunately more likely, do they blend into the chorus of your other companions, remaining a source of comfort where you may need it, but otherwise just…there?
This isn’t to say they’re forgotten completely by any means, but all too often those who help us through this life’s hardest moments go underappreciated. Now, I’m not suggesting you shower them with praise every chance you get, lifting them up on your shoulders and parading them around the town, but I guarantee you that showing them what they’ve done for you hasn’t been forgotten will only benefit the relationship you have with them. Even small things, such as letting them know that you’re there for them in their own moments of hardship, can be just the touch of encouragement they need to get them through. Not always, but just the show of willingness to be there for them can do wonders for them emotionally.
Ask anyone born before 1950 and they’ll often tell you the same story – people these days don’t realize how lucky they are to have what they have (“I had to walk 5 miles to school uphill…BOTH WAYS!”). They didn’t have cell phones, or iPads, or Netflix, but we do, so be appreciative of it. I agree wholeheartedly, but there IS one thing they had that we do as well – relationships. Yes, we should be grateful for our cell phones and iPads and Netflix, but the same goes for the meaningful relationships we have with those in our lives. Lord knows you wouldn’t forget how Netflix (and ice cream) got you through that terrible breakup, so why would you forget your friend who convinced you there were other fish in the sea? You wouldn’t forget your phone’s texting capabilities, but who would you have to text if you didn’t have those friends who are so dear to you?
So, I write this conclusion not as a traditional one, but rather a “getting on my knees and begging you” one. Please, please, please don’t take the ones in your life that you care about for granted. Don’t let them go unnoticed. Don’t allow them to fade into the background even once your troubles have passed. Let them know you care for and appreciate them. If we can’t do a simple task such as tell the ones close to us how much they mean to us, how are we supposed to do so on a larger scale? Human beings were made to be creatures of compassion – so be compassionate.