Being single works just fine

To all of the couples and the single people, happy Valentine’s Day! Whether you’re getting some expensive piece of jewelry from the one you love, or you’re sitting at home alone having a hot date with Netflix, I hope your day is fantastic.

So naturally, with it being Valentine’s Day, I was genuinely considering putting some snarky post on here, something entitled along the lines of “Singles Awareness Day” (super original, I know), but I thought better of it. I have single friends who hate today for the same reason so many people love it – it promotes romantic connections, those of which they do not have. I’m single as well, but I’m in no way bitter or resentful towards the holiday. From my point of view, Valentine’s Day doesn’t berate people who don’t have a significant other, rather, it is meant for celebrating the joy of those who do. 

Now, I understand the bitterness towards seeing others happy with their significant other, and wishing you had that for yourself. There isn’t anything wrong with feeling sad about that – I fall prey to that mindset myself. But thinking that you can’t be as happy without some “other half” that you haven’t found yet isn’t true. We can receive love from other places – friends, family, pets. I know this isn’t “romantic” love, but it’s love all the same, isn’t it?

Having someone in your life who loves you romantically is wonderful, I don’t deny that. But life isn’t all about romantic love, though today does a pretty good job of making many forget that small fact. Love makes the world go ’round, yes, that includes romance, but all the other types of love still apply. I’m absolutely convinced that, before anyone enters into a relationship, they have to make sure they love themselves first. Self-love. I’ve had opportunities to enter into relationships, but I didn’t take those opportunities, because the way I see it, asking someone to love and accept me for who I am, when I have trouble doing that on a daily basis, isn’t right. Romantic relationships can do wonders for those with depression, but believe me when I say they are in no way a substitute for loving yourself.

So, if it comes around to February 14th next year and you’re single, that’s okay. Same with the next year. And the next. Love is so important, but it comes in many different forms. Familial, friendship, compassion, and yes, romantic. That being said, if you are in a relationship, don’t take it for granted. Just having someone there for you romantically is something so many people wish they could have every single day.

You’re amazing. You’re fantastic. You’re worth so much, you have so much potential, and you are worthy of romantic love, whether you’re in a relationship right now or not. Life is about so much more than boyfriends or girlfriends, husbands or wives – happiness can come from so many places, including within. Don’t forget that.

Stay strong.

  • Ryan

 

P.S. You know you like that Han Solo pun in the cover image. Admit it.

You’re good enough.

So my day is kind of crappy so far. My depression has decided to make itself front and center in my mind today, and I’m feeling it.

It’s trying to tell me that I’m not good enough. But I am. As are you.

So I’m taking a super short post to say just that – you’re good enough. Whether it’s another person or your own mind trying to tell you otherwise, the fact still stands that you’re deserving of happiness.

No matter what mistakes you made today, or yesterday, or last year, you’re deserving of contentment. Your life isn’t defined by the ‘whats’ or ‘whos,’ it’s defined by the ‘whys.’ Your intentions.

Even as I write this, my mind is screaming at me that I’m full of crap. But I know better. I’m worth something, and you’re worth a hell of a lot, too.

Stay strong.

  • Ryan

 

A quick thought…

Violence for its own sake is bad. Generally, leaders, be they of countries, federations, armies, etc., take steps to avoid violence against their own.

At what point in history did human society decide that the best way to counter violence is with violence? Fire with fire? If I punch you, your initial reaction may be to punch me back. Which in response causes me to hit you again, and the cycle repeats until there’s an all-out fistfight. If history and human nature has taught us anything, it’s that a violent act will often lead to a retaliation of violence.

Human society has been around for thousands of years. We’ve evolved, gotten smarter and wiser, so why haven’t a vast majority of us realized that violence in response to violence solves nothing? So many leaders are convinced that brute force is the answer to ending what plagues their people, and as such, they become so blinded that they don’t realize the problem lies more so in their own actions than those they are fighting against.

If I punch you, you should put up yours hands to defend yourself, absolutely. But instead of hitting back, figure out why I punched you. What caused it? How can we solve this problem without another punch to the face? With the least amount of collateral damage. Maybe you’re still a little sore (physically and mentally) from my punch, but we’re avoiding a lot of future soreness if we take a less physical approach to things. Right?

I’m not really sure what prompted this thought, honestly. The U.S. is pretty divided right now, between what approach we take to solve our problems. I hope we see that force isn’t always the answer.

  • Ryan